2. Yesterday around 4pm a storm started here. Eric put one of our envirologs (recycled waxed cardboard) in the fireplace and lit it. We kept the fire going until around midnight when we went to bed. What a super night! He researched gun things at my desk while I cleaned up my craft room, worked on a Christmas present, talked to Wendy, and generally just lurked around. We had a snack dinner: fresh hummus, two kinds of crackers, two kinds of cheese, carrots, an apple and a pear.
3. We are working on our plan for where we want to live and when we might want to move from our house. It looks like we will be moving later than sooner so we have decided that for the next while that we live here we might do a few things to make it more fun. We have a dog run that is fenced in on the west side of the house, it's about 13 feet by 30 feet, with a pretty high fence around it--the only thing in there is a huge dog house. I would like to turn that dog house into a chicken coop and get a few hens. Eric is really excited about the idea and agreed to take care of them even when I leave town now and then. We also have a lot of room to grow things. We even have some space in the front that would make great beds for plants. I would like to grow a few flowers and mostly a bunch of things to eat, herbs and other things. Eric has a green thumb so together we should have a pretty sweet little garden. I would also like to have some of the garden in containers so that we can take it with us when we do move. I really like water troughs as homes for plants--you know, the ones that are around 3-4 feet long. So the scheming begins! I am so excited to learn about desert gardening and taking care of chickens. Also if it is feasible I would like to do a little bit of water harvesting to help water the garden. Mmm, a new project!
4. Our house is gloriously clean.
5. Two days til I leave for my San Francisco weekend with Meredith and Tiffy!
Art thoughts: I am done making my hot packs with flax seeds. DONE. I don't hate making them. I just don't love to. It is not a project that deeply inspires me. And if I am spending time in my studio shouldn't I be doing something I love? I would rather go deep with my creativity and not earn a cent than make things that I am not happy to make. Why do I do crafts? Several reasons: it puts me in touch with a part of myself that is otherwise not accessible. A quiet, full alive part. Some crafts put me in touch and some do not. Painting? Yes. Collage? Yes. Anything involving silliness, lightness, or reflections of my inner self.
In those last reasons I did not see anything about earning a living. I went to nursing school so that I would earn a living, and so that I would have plenty of time to pursue the things that bring me great joy. So I do not need to make a living from my art/crafts. I think it is confusing when we earn money for what we make. It is easy to get distracted from the initial passions that bring us to creative work to begin with. There are some gray areas in this, as some aspects of selling my work are really fun. I liked making the hot packs because they help bring relaxation into people's lives, and because I like the idea of people taking care of themselves. This is the same reason that I liked teaching yoga. It feels good to me to offer something positive out into this often chaotic and stressful world. But I think I would rather teach yoga to fulfill this need than make hot packs. I liked buying the fabric, I liked scenting the seeds, and I liked meeting the people who would enjoy my work, or give it as a gift to someone they love. But I do not like cutting fabric, and I do not like sewing the same thing over and over again. I do like sewing the occasional skirt, or some other small project. But I do not really sew well, my lines aren't straight and I am not really into work that involves being meticulous. So to do it over and over and then sell my work isn't as rewarding as say, making a card or painting an anatomical heart with wings standing on a tree branch.
Of course I am not saying there is anything wrong with selling my work, only that it is confusing. I love it when a stranger sees my work and "gets it", and loves it enough to buy it. That is rewarding and meaningful also. I don't want to stop selling my work, I only want to be more focused about how I spend my time in my studio, and to spend more of it accessing that quiet, fully alive part of myself.
My friend Toni had a good idea when we were discussing this the other day, he said to just make what I want to make and eventually if there is a lot of work piled up, then participate in a fair. Instead of making things for a fair, I would make things and THEN find a fair. That would certainly shift my focus back to creating for its own sake. I like this idea. I am taking a break from production in favor of spontaneous creativity.
Off to work, more on this later maybe.
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