Saturday's list, posted on Sunday

I am SO tired! So tired that I keep lying there in my bed and not sleeping. Let's see if instead of counting sheep I can count my blessings.

1. Eric made me an awesome lunch today! He made corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, grilled steaks, and a fruit salad.

2. He also hosed down my corrugated metal for me so that we can start figuring out how we are going to display my collages at the Create Cafe.

3. My friend Kevin stopped by tonight and we walked RR around the neighborhood. It was cloudy and we could see lightning in the distance.

4. Today RR's vet lowered his prednisone dose to the lowest amount it can be before she discontinues it! He'll probably be on it another month at least and then we'll try to take him off, assuming his labs remain stable.

5. I met a really nice lady today in Green Valley. I was there to give her information about hospice for her husband.

6. Last night I admitted another patient to hospice. It was a complicated admission as he was already in the dying process as he was discharged from the hospital, yesterday at 6 pm. I spent most of today trying to get orders, dealing with our pharmacy, our supply company, our on-call nurse and our on-call administrator to try to orchestrate his care. Then at 6pm the on-call nurse called to tell me that the patient had passed away. "He couldn't have had a more peaceful death, and it was because you worked so hard to get him what he needed." I don't know if that's true, I always hope my work will be of comfort to patients and their families, but you rarely really know.What really struck me was how kind it was of Kirk (the on-call nurse) to say that to me. It was so generous of him to pay attention to how hard I had tried.

7. Tomorrow morning Mead and I are going to yoga and then doing crafts. Remember how I always apologize for my photographs? She offered to take some pictures of my work for me! She is an awesome photographer--she has this way of taking pictures that I find really unique and beautiful. I feel so grateful that she is going to use her creative eye to take these photos. I'll post them as soon as I can!

8. Only a few days until I see my family!

9. I'm still listening to that great audio book: Be Grateful to Everyone by Pema Chodron. I would recommend it to anyone who sees kindness/compassion as a spiritual practice. When I graduated from college and everyone was asking me what I wanted to be, all I could think of was kind. I wonder if a lot of people with liberal arts degrees feel that way... I just wanted to love the world as best I could (and still do). I didn't see any ads posted for "compassionate beings" so I wound my way around--doing Americorps, interpreting for Spanish speakers, doing skills training for developmentally delayed adults, teaching yoga and then attending nursing school. Up until this job I would say that nursing has been (for the most part) a major set back in this area because I have spent so much time rushing and fighting, I had never felt so distant from my intention to be kind. I'm glad to say now that in this job I see it as my primary responsibility to be kind, and to listen to people who need a good listening to. So I would recommend this book to anyone who shares this ideal in their heart.